Today I will tell you the rest of the story and new fact, with my adventures in work where I was harassed by one insistent male chauvinist.
The case has been described here.
I do not want to repeat myself – I will only remind you of the most important facts. Well, I received an invitation to take a photograph of a house that was about to be sold by a couple from Sacramento.
When I got there, a bit intoxicated with alcohol, who took advantage of the fact that we were left alone for a while – offered me an undress session combined with “something more”.
He asked about the stakes and started to grope me – put his hand on my hip.
I ended the previous post with the fact that I left home under any pretext, I did not complete the order and as soon as I returned, disturbed, to my place of residence in Modesto.
The story of the alcoholic male continues
The whole event took place at the beginning of February this year. From then on, a few new things happened, first let me draw the background of the current situation.
When I suddenly left the house where I was supposed to take pictures – I gave up all contact with this family.
Basically, I thought I had everything behind me, but as it turned out – the case continued.
After about 2 weeks, Grace called me – a woman from this house with whom I originally talked about the contract and made an appointment.
Grace wanted to know if I was coming over to finish this assignment. I was supposed to call them back, but of course I didn’t.
Calculating the matter coolly, I came to the conclusion that it is not worth trying to continue this case and inform the wife of the chauvinist.
Due to my ethnic origin and the fact that there were no witnesses – I preferred to avoid confrontation with the police and a possible court.
In fact, I was also afraid of my wife’s reaction.
Women in such cases try to protect their husbands and deny that their “beloved” might have gotten to another woman and offered her sex.
Not only that – it was not about an affair, but rather a form of prostitution.
Do not answer calls while under the influence of alcohol
It just so happened that when I answer the phone from Grace – I was in the middle of a meeting with a friend and we both enjoyed alcohol with.
Due to the fact that it was quite late and my friend Emily was supposed to stay with me for the night – we organized a woman’s evening.
I suspect that the conversation would have turned out completely different if I had been sober. But it didn’t happen to me as it happened and I told Grace everything.
I mentioned why I ran away from their home and did not contact her anymore.
As expected, Grace was surprised at first. Later she began to deny it and tried to ease the situation.
She said that maybe I misunderstood the intentions, that maybe they were innocent jokes, and so on.
After a dozen or so minutes of conversation – the situation changed dramatically.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Grace started to cry and began to say that she had had suspicions about her husband before.
However, she did not have the courage to talk to him, because he was quick-tempered and pretended that it was okay.
Anyway – now she knows everything and we have an appointment.
I don’t really know what to expect, but I suspect Grace might be in trouble and I’m starting to worry about her.
I hope there is no violence in this family, but I think that when we meet in person – I will find out more.
We women must stick together.
Even though I wished I had been so honest at first – now I think maybe it was a good thing.
Anyway – together with Grace we agreed that we will not do any photo assignments for now
Thanks for sharing your story Vicky. It was very courageous and I personally admire you.
When I was a teenager I have similar situation so I can understand you feeling.
Such trauma from being sexually assaulted may become a source of significant trouble in future life.
For the uninitiated, there is a certain “familiar feeling” and “tendency” a person has when they feel they have been “selected” for a particular occupation, or for some sort of position, and that it has an overwhelming effect on their life. It makes them feel like an outsider to a society that is already a bit strange. The very notion of selection is a powerful and important force in the world of science (I’m looking at you, evolution).
I’m not sure of anyone who really knows that, and the fact that I have to explain to some of my colleagues that their entire world view is a huge part of why they are who they are makes me feel like a failure for them. It’s a big part, for instance, of who I am. My parents and my brother and sister and my wife and my husband and, of course, the whole family. That’s why I think of the idea of a “majors,” and what it means.
But this isn’t a new phenomenon.
For example, in the 1950’s, a lot of people were very, very interested in what it was like to be a black woman or a queer person. I don’t know if it’s that, in the modern world, it’s the exact opposite, but there was an element of this in the 1960’s, when the term “queer” was being used, and I can’t recall the year specifically. But it was a time when the whole black queer movement was in its final weeks, and, of course, it’s a time that I have no recollection of where we were at.
But of course, by the way, I think that this is a key element of the reason why I’m a lot more interesting. And if we are so interesting to ourselves, we also have to be interesting to the general public.
If we have to be interesting to the public in a particular way, we don’t have any of the other parts of our world in our life that we’re so interested in. We don’t have the other parts of what it is that makes people interesting or what makes them important or who they are or who they can become that make life exciting for us. It’s a very big part of what makes people the way that they are.
i wrote a lot. OMG. I hope everything is ok with you now.
Enjoy your weekend
I know you have a busy day ahead of you. But it’s a special day because you’re going to be a mom. You’re going to have a baby and you’re going to have a wonderful time. You’re going to do this in your best spirit.” I’m in the midst of two days of counseling and planning for my new baby. I’ve tried everything in the world.
My friends and family have offered me support. I’ve met with a couple of people from work, one friend who I don’t know, and one of them, who’s a good friend from high school. I’ve made friends with my parents. The hardest part is just trying to stay sober. I feel
Alisa, I’m surprised by the tone and content of your response to Vicky’s story. While I understand your intention to show empathy towards Vicky, I believe your comment has strayed far from the original topic – the dangers of excessive alcohol consumption.
You mention that you have a similar experience as Vicky, but fail to explain how this relates to drinking or why it’s relevant to the article. Your subsequent paragraphs delve into abstract concepts about selection and identity, which seem to have no connection to either Vicky’s story or the topic at hand.
I’m left wondering if you’ve even read the article or simply responded out of habit. It’s as if we’re living in a different era, where people would reminisce about past traumas rather than addressing the present issue. Your nostalgia-tinged response feels like a throwback to another time, where personal anecdotes took precedence over meaningful discussions.
I’d love to see you engage with the article’s arguments and offer your thoughts on how excessive drinking can lead to trouble in future life, as you initially suggested. Let’s bring this conversation back to the present and tackle the issue at hand.
I don’t need permission from anyone to share my story or connect the dots between my experiences and the topic at hand. My past trauma may not be directly related to drinking, but it’s precisely because of its indirect connection that I feel qualified to speak out.
You want to know about the dangers of excessive drinking? I’ll tell you something: it’s not just about the physical harm it can cause, or the risks of addiction. It’s about the erosion of empathy, the normalization of toxic behavior, and the ways in which it can perpetuate systemic problems that we’re all supposed to be fighting against.
You say my response was a “throwback to another time”? Well, excuse me for not being able to participate in this soulless discussion about statistics and public health policy. Where’s the humanity in your arguments? Where’s the recognition of the complexities that make human beings more than just data points?
I’m not here to engage with your article’s “arguments” or offer some watered-down version of my thoughts, sanitized for the sake of “meaningful discussion”. I’m here to scream into the void, to rage against a system that encourages people like Vicky to feel ashamed and stigmatized.
So, bring it on. Bring your critiques, your lectures, and your moral high ground. But know this: I won’t be silenced, and my story will not be reduced to mere anecdote or abstract concept. It’s a warning sign, Adalyn Glenn, a red flag waving in the face of complacency and conformity. And I’ll keep screaming until someone listens.