I decided on this emotional post because the topic had been sitting in my head for a while, but recent events meant that I had to write about it.
Unfortunately, in the 21st century, women in the male world are still discriminated against on the basis of gender.
The profession of a photographer is one such example. It happens, although I must admit that less and less often, that I fall victim to discrimination.
I will tell you a story that happened to me recently while discussing my next assignment.
Women’s hell during war conflicts
As a young girl naive that the world is beautiful, I was shocked when I saw the work of photographers in Eastern Europe, when the Nazis committed cruel crimes in extermination camps, including in the Auschwitz-Birkenau camp.
Historical exhibition Women in Auschwitz. The situation of the women imprisoned and murdered in the camp was particularly tragic for various reasons.
The exhibition devoted to their memory shows the tragedy of fate, suffering and heroism of women prisoners in the struggle for survival and dignity in the German Nazi concentration camp and the martyrdom of Jewish women murdered in gas chambers.
It presents the most important issues of the history of the women’s camp, ie its genesis, the extermination of Jewish women in gas chambers, the organization of the camp and its crew; the national structure of female prisoners, with particular emphasis on Jewish, Polish and Romani women.
Their hunger, living conditions, diseases, employment, terror, punishments and medical experiments, motherhood, resistance and escapes, sexual abuse and rapes was as example of men supremacy who driven by animal and racists instinct was able to make such horrible act of terror against women.
The exhibition was made in the Polish-English language version, based on the source and iconographic materials of the State Museum in Poland is an active act of those horrible times.
The current situation of women in relation to men
Thanks to the gods, the hell of war is behind us, but as women we still have to struggle with the patriarchate and male domination, which sometimes turns into persecution.
The last thing I had to deal with was last week – on Monday. First things first. Before the weekend, I got a call from a couple living in Sacramento who wanted to sell their home and needed photos.
A photo assignment that ended in a sexual assault
A couple living in a wealthy neighborhood for around 40 years, both without children.
They told me over the phone that they didn’t want to use an agency – allegedly because of high fees and commissions. Their plan for sale was simple – snap photos of their property and post an advertisement on the Internet. So I made an appointment with them on Monday – after the weekend.
I live in Modesto, CA which is 70 miles from Sacramento. The road takes about an hour and a half, provided there are traffic jams on the 99 road. During the trip you pass the Elk Grove, located just south of the state capital of Sacramento. When my parents moved to United States from Mexico – we were on road trip to California.
They property is located in Gardenland.
Gardenland is a district located within North Sacramento. The boundaries of Gardenland are Silver Eagle Road to the north, Arden-Garden Connector to the south, Northgate Boulevard to the west, and Steelhead Creek to the east. Homes in this area were built on farmland on the river bed in the 1970sI parked my car and called the front gate.
Nice house – you have to admit, well-kept – you can see that the garden is under the care of a private, professional gardening company.
This district is not one of the richest and most prestigious, but I must admit the house itself inspired confidence and at this stage I had no idea what was waiting for me in a moment.
I rang the doorbell in the fence and a woman spoke through the intercom. Kate – she was talking to me on the phone when we were discussing the assignment. I took the most expensive equipment with me – although it is a pretty quiet neighborhood with average crime rate.
I have a habit of not leaving my camera and objects in my car unattended. Especially since I have an ad for my photo studio on my car, so the thief can expect a good gear inside. I only left soft-boxes and tripods in the car.
I was planning to come back for them later after checking the light conditions.
The best photos come out when we work with shaded light, but the conditions and arrangement of the house must be favorable.
Too much sunlight or high contrasts inside means that even the HDR mode is not able to compensate for the burned CMOS sensor in some parts of the image.
Correctly setting the exposition in such conditions is a nightmare, which is why I often use artificial lighting in dark places in the house in such cases.
So I was let in through the gate and greeted Kate on the porch. We both went home. Kate’s husband, who was introduced to me as George, was waiting for us in the living room.
He seemed nice at first, although now as I write these words – his smile when greeting him might seem a bit ominous. It was noon – probably one or two o’clock. What caught my attention – George was sipping a drink, rather alcoholic.
His eyes sparkled in some weird way.
Kate invited me to the living room. We sat on light leather sofas and talked for a while about selling the house. Kate was the main one.
She told me about the reasons for selling the house, about the plans to move from California more to the east – in a word, the introductory standard conversation that is badly needed for this type of business meetings.
We also discussed the financial conditions of the contract and the strengths of the house, which are worth paying attention to when preparing photos.
The conversation lasted probably 10-15 minutes and then Kate went to the kitchen to prepare coffee.
At that time, I started to look around the mansion to plan the shots.
Then something unexpected happened.
George, who earlier – in the company of Kate, was rather taciturn and more often nodded during the conversation than joined the discussion.
The moment we were left alone in the living room – he changed completely.
Clearly excited George came to me – far too close for the person I am changing for several minutes.
I was busy with the initial framing, so at the beginning I didn’t even realized what was happening. But as George leaned over to me and whispered something in my ear about my beauty and manhood, I shuddered.
Not only that, he put his hand on my hip trying to bring me closer to him.
It’s hard for me to even repeat what he said exactly – but they were very indecent words – he was definitely asking if I could give him a nude session combined with something else and how much it would cost – because he has money.
The truth is, I stopped dead and couldn’t speak. Before I could react – Kate had returned to the living room – which made George immediately jump away from me, pretending he was interested in my photography equipment.
When we sat down to coffee – it was hard for me to swallow the brew because I was very tense.
At one point, I apologized to Kate and said I had to leave for an emergency.
I could no longer be in the company of this man.
I left the house and said that I would call when I could return to work and continue the assignment. Of course, I’m not going to go back there.
As I wrote in the About Me section – I come from Mexico and I am rather considered an attractive woman. Indeed, it happened to me that men showed interest in a not very sophisticated way, e.g. by whistling, but I have never experienced such a form of direct sexual proposition.
As of now, I am not going to report this incident to the police or report it to Kate. I suspect that she herself may be a victim in this account.
However, I felt very embarrassed and scared and had to comment on this.
Summary
Despite the improvement in our living conditions, we women still face unequal treatment and humiliation.
Often times, men abuse us or make immoral offers – taking advantage of our economic advantage and their dominant role in a patriarchal society.
End this and make appropriate changes to local California and US-wide laws. Changes are necessary at the federal level.
Such behavior is difficult to prosecute ex officio, because there are often no witnesses – as in my situation – and we are dealing with word against the word.
Men defend themselves with the explanations that the woman filtered with them or sent them “signals” that show that she was interested in something more than just a friend.
Your story is terrifying. I am really moved and thrilled. I think the biggest difference now is that if you’re a woman and you’re working with a male, that you’re expected to put yourself at ease and to know that you are not being taken for granted or that you can make your work count, because you’re a woman .
Hello Vicky. I found your blog by accident.
Yes, you are right. It was very bad for us for about 60 years. In the 1960’s we have had a new wave of resistance. But at the time there weren’t enough women. There aren’t any. There is no women’s march. There is no women’s conference. There is no feminism. And in fact, the more women are educated and active, the less we are.
There is a growing number of instances of journalists being the victims of violent acts, harassment or stalking, sometimes for long periods of time. This has made it increasingly difficult for those who are in the know to protect themselves, their organisations, or their reputation. And it’s made it even harder for the government and the media to police these situations because it’s impossible to verify each incident independently and to prevent similar incidents if it’s going on.
I wish you best lucy Victoria. We women need to hold up together.
I hope this disgusting criminal men will face prosecution in the future.
Not only ordinary men commit assault crimes. Even law officer that should be protecting women are offensive as well:
A New South Wales police officer will spend three months in jail after pleading guilty to a sex offence. The 46-year-old is alleged to have engaged in a violent act against two teenagers on July 1 last year.
The incident, allegedly in the town of Bentleigh in the Northern Territory, occurred after a friend had invited the pair back to town for a late night party.
Police allege that one of the victims, aged 14 at the time, became upset after a fight with her friend and punched her repeatedly from behind.
Detective Senior Sergeant Mark Richey said on Friday: “I can confirm the police have now reached the conclusion that a man who works in the public interest area of the Bentleigh Police Station at a time when a police officer was in charge of the area, engaged in a serious incident involving two young people when he was not wearing a police uniform.
“At no stage did this offending lead to any significant harm to anyone other than a minor victim.” The court heard that during the assault, the defendant was punched by one of the victims at least three times, before she pushed him to the ground.
Detective Richey said: “A number of times she has been seen to push him and that’s when he turned to strike back but he fell forward and she then hit him and he fell to the ground.” When the defendant refused to let go, the victim told other staff and police to come to their aid.
He said there was no doubt that the defendant was sexually assaulting the victim, as he has a history of violent behavior against woman.
This what happened to you is horrible Victoria but believe me it escalates quickly and situation is becoming worse and worse for us women.
Very last example:
A group of men are in jail after an arrest was reported for “disturbing the peace” on May 16 this year (2021).
It was one of the many violent incidents that took place around the time of the Women’s March in Washington. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh, File)
A group of men are in jail after an arrest was reported for “disturbing the peace” on May 16. It was one of the many violent incidents that took place around the time of the Women’s March in Washington.
Two men accused of threatening and assaulting a woman in downtown D.C. on Saturday were booked into the Fairfax County Metropolitan Detention Center. The men, ages 24 and 27, were arrested on the scene of attack.
I’d like to respond to Barbra’s comment, but I notice there seems to be a mistake – she didn’t actually make a comment about discrimination of women at work. However, assuming her comment was indeed related to the topic, here’s my response:
“Barbra, sweetie, you’re as passionate as a feminist can get! However, let me put on my devil’s advocate hat and raise some questions. If we’re talking about holding up together, does that mean women should just stick together in an ‘us against them’ mentality? Shouldn’t we instead be fighting for equal opportunities and fair treatment within the workplace?
And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for prosecution of those disgusting men (I’m using your terminology now). But have you considered the fact that some women might actually benefit from their harassment – in a twisted way, they might even feel empowered by it? Of course, not all women are like this, but shouldn’t we be tackling the root cause rather than just sweeping it under the rug?
Not to mention, if we’re going to ‘hold up together’, shouldn’t we also hold up each other’s feet when they get a little too big for their britches? Just saying, let’s not forget about accountability within our own ranks.”
Barbra, I appreciate your sentiment, but let’s not sugarcoat things. You’re saying that we women need to stick together and support each other, which is true. However, are you suggesting that our solidarity alone will be enough to combat this pervasive problem of violence against women in the workplace? That seems naive to me. We need more than just moral support; we need concrete actions to address the root causes of this issue.
I’m curious, have you considered the role of societal conditioning and patriarchal norms in perpetuating these violent behaviors? Are we simply expecting men to change their behavior without addressing the systemic issues that drive it? I think we need a more nuanced discussion about how to create a culture shift that promotes respect for women’s autonomy and agency.
Furthermore, your statement “I hope this disgusting criminal men will face prosecution” implies a simplistic solution. Are you aware of the numerous cases where perpetrators have been acquitted or received lenient sentences due to lack of evidence or victim-blaming? We need to question the justice system’s handling of these cases as well.
Let’s not just be reactive; let’s proactively work towards creating a more equitable society that values women’s rights and safety. What are some concrete steps we can take, beyond just solidarity and wishful thinking?
just because some men are violent doesn’t mean that all men are. And just because there are some instances of violence against women doesn’t mean that we should ignore the fact that women face discrimination every single day at work. Get your facts straight and stay on topic or better yet, take a seat.
Ryan Pitts, I see where you’re coming from, and I appreciate your passion for this issue. However, I have to respectfully disagree with your characterization of my sentiment as “naive.” While it’s true that women need more than just moral support to combat violence against them in the workplace, I believe that solidarity is a crucial starting point.
By standing together, we can create a sense of collective strength and shared purpose that can help us mobilize for change. It’s not about expecting men to simply “change their behavior” without addressing systemic issues, but rather about creating a cultural shift that values women’s autonomy and agency.
Regarding your question about societal conditioning and patriarchal norms, I couldn’t agree more. These are indeed key drivers of violence against women in the workplace, and we must address them head-on. However, I don’t think it’s an either-or proposition – we can work on both fronts simultaneously.
In fact, I believe that solidarity among women is essential to creating a culture shift that promotes respect for women’s autonomy and agency. When women stand together and support each other, they are more empowered to speak out against injustice and demand change.
Regarding your point about the justice system, I agree that it’s a critical issue that needs attention. However, I don’t think we should be so quick to dismiss prosecution as a simplistic solution. While it’s true that perpetrators have sometimes been acquitted or received lenient sentences due to lack of evidence or victim-blaming, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t strive for justice in these cases.
In fact, one of the most powerful ways to create change is through holding perpetrators accountable for their actions. When men are held responsible for their crimes, it sends a clear message that violence against women will not be tolerated.
So, what are some concrete steps we can take beyond just solidarity and wishful thinking? Well, I think there are many possibilities. For one thing, we could work to create more inclusive workplaces where women feel safe and supported. We could also advocate for policies that protect women’s rights and prevent violence against them.
We could also support organizations that provide services to survivors of violence, such as counseling and advocacy groups. And perhaps most importantly, we can use our voices to amplify the stories and experiences of women who have been affected by violence in the workplace.
So, while I appreciate your call for a more nuanced discussion about how to create a culture shift that promotes respect for women’s autonomy and agency, I don’t think we should be so quick to dismiss solidarity as a crucial starting point. By standing together, we can create a more just and equitable society where all women are valued and respected.